Today this I know…

I turned 40 this summer. It was not as life changing as I thought. I did not wake up and look like a celebrity. But I did have a good time. And I still love Birthdays! And will always make a point to let people know…self promotion I can do!

I know that trying to blog and living away all summer with no internet – basically does not make for a great blogger, friend or person that follows through on stuff…(even though there are were a Zillion things worth mentioning) This is also true on having 7 birthdays all in October and a party we have thrown for 20years –  that can’t go on without planning.

I know that when you age party planning is totally different – sort of. Meaning that you still purchase stupid things to have fun with but you planned for them and ordered them ahead of time. You did not wait until the 11th hour to see where beer can be bought. I know that you worry more that people will have fun. But in the end you drink just as much.

I know... that this is a rough week for people I know due to loss and birthdays.

…that I love food. I know that is a bummer at times.

…that I love my family. That is not a bummer. (Even if  I yell and want to pull out my hair at times, I love them)

…that watching the Honey Badger makes me giggle still.

…that I get excited to drink sweet nines at Eno Vino.

… that I love to giggle.

…that I think that I can dance.

…that buying matching shoes with a friend makes me smile.

…that Friendship is hard to find. Especially as you age and I am truly lucky.

…that I have okay taste.  Wait, I think, I do.

I know that taking down my last crib was sadder then I thought – THEN I snapped out of it.

…that I love having the windows open.

I know I still pick at everything. my poor kids

…that I miss my mother so much my skin hurts. I know that Thursday is her birthday – She would be 61. I know that she was such a super person, she deserved to be here. I know that I will tell people I am glad she is not hurting this year. I know I don’t mean it in that I wish she was still here. I know that she is with me and at times probably disappointed. I miss her so much sometimes I check out. I know that other times she is happy – especially when I giggle and can check. So I hope that she smiles more then not. I know that she is with me in odd times and places. I know that she was glad we (my family) spent so much time together this summer. And that it is clear we are here for one another. always.

 

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Ugh….Posting…

i have been wanting to post new stuff but could not due to some computer issues. I will have a new post tomorrow night folks.

I have a bunch to say about how great the people i know are , how it is to turn a milestone birthday – how to turn a milestone without my mom.

how to have kids in heat and like them.

how to eat greasy food.

how to have friends that make me laugh….stay tuned! 🙂

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what did the Big Tomato say to the small one as he hit him on the back? Ketchup – Catch UP….

A) I have been having a HUGE computer issue – lost a ton of information and could not get into my blog…sad, sad…

B) not that any of you noticed.

C) I have a ton of rants coming – starting sunday night. Warning One.

D) Just a small rant for tonight – For all of those like me that were so excited for kids, could not wait to have them, and so on…We all have the day(s) that you say to yourself…WHY did I think that this would be a good idea? Well let me tell you this has been one of those days. The fighting, the bad weather is not a help,  the shrieking (some of it is happy but even so – IT is so loud), the non listening… sometimes I wonder to myself if when we have kids (even if you have just one) and you find out that someone you know is having their first – half of the glee in finding that out this person has procreated –  is in the fact that they have NO IDEA what they are getting into…and you will have a pal to join your JOY and MISERY. Of course there is a ton of joy…but days like today – ha….only half joy. I hear “it is so not going to change us. We have read every book and we know what we are getting into…” GOOD luck. I smile and say – no worries you will do great (we all do) but remember… I do have a lot of red wine here…feel free to stop by with your dumpling/ray of light/modern miracle/precious package – ANY time. I can’t wait to see you unchanged.  PS- upside – they went to bed nice They looked cute in their jammies. (kinda)

Lastly I would like to note that July is coming, and with that- so many great things.  I am beyond excited that my birthday is coming – THE BIG 40….& even if it just means going to dinner with a few pals…I LOVE a birthday – Thank you mom for that. And thank you mom for always making us feel like the ony person on that day – LOVE IT! TRULY! But here is the weird thing – July has another importance to me – It holds my mom’s favorite holiday – the FOURTH of July. As important as it was to be together at Christmas – the 4th was the same. I will write more on this topic….but be warned (second time) I have a ton to say about JULY.  

Also – in JULY – my brother and family are coming – YEAH . A RACE July 4th is coming – ONE that I made the mistake of opening MY big mouth on a red wine brain and made a challenge. I even was so bold to say I could win. I am sure this will end messy. I will end up hurt physically and mentally – UGH  – boy am I STOOpid – In the opposite of Charlie Sheen – SO NOT WINNING…..so stay tuned it is ALMOST JULY. 

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the THINGS we are suppose teach our kids…

Okay we all know the standard list of things that your suppose to instill in your youngins’ once you become parents (eating, using the bathroom, not swearing)…but what about a few other things, like:

please and thank you (more candy pllllleeeeassseee)

don’t chew with your mouth full (so much to say here, but have to finish my coffee, and toast to type)

salt & pepper are table travelling partners (if you were to ask me about our “formal” dinners growing up. I would share there was money to be made here. If you got thru the meals completely on tack you were great AND a few bucks richer…I would also share by the time I hit high school graduation I was already in debt, due to my lack on being on tack.)

how to do homework  (bless my mom on this – she was great at fixing last-minute problems…ie: having my pillow made for me – yes you read that right – she had someone make my home ec pillow…I got an extra great grade since we had not learned how to do lace…Great right 🙂 )

How to be honest (or in my case my mom would have been found saying – “Jen, just  play the game, stop being so stubborn” – “Jen, if your going to continue to lie about where you have been at least get your story straight with others”- “Jen, a raccoon did not jump on the car…(side story – right after I got my license I took out my mom’s car, we lived in the country, I hit the break, gas & the radio all at once sped off the driveway under the barbed wire and BOOM into the corn field. The car windows were open – the car was filthy, full of corn and the paint well had new barbed wire stripes…I being the WORST liar – told my parents a rabid raccoon attacked the car and I freaked out hence the damage and me going into the corn field – true story I said…well? it could happen? EEE yeah they believed that.)

how to show empathy – like when a sibling falls off the skate board you have been dragging behind the back of a four-wheeler you look at the wound and ouch,- sorry – wanna do that again? all the while knowing your going whip the heck out of said sibling again…

How to share – again another four-wheel story – let’s throw rocks at the person driving and if they fall well turns up – sharing/ hey I have the chicken pox – wanna sit with me/ Hey, thanks for  trick or treating with me – wanna divide up candy – oh I am sooo in love with these bottle caps (wink wink) fine I will give you these for that FULL size candy bar — sharing.

how to tie our shoes – or tie things and people to one another

who to call for things – I am out of money, I have had my car towed, later in life it is better, you do not call so much for things you need but just to share things – my hearts been broken, I have been dumped, I am getting married, I am having a baby! I miss mom.

how to puke IN a bucket/toilet – this is a new one that just occurred to me. kids just spin their heads like a bad movie…and even if you put a bucket next to them they act like they are about to explode instead of just sitting up and turning their head towards that direction…it DRIVES me crazy. This is a skill much like a fire drill I may start making us practice ? once a month? an alarm will go off and they will have to sit up and pretend to puke towards a bucket…not the wall – while on the top bunk and then spinning all around the room. I know where that scene came from in the Exorcist. Someone had a small child that had the flu for SURE.

 what is right and wrong to eat – it is okay to find & eat candy at 7 am as long as no one finds you – then it is wrong.

When you start to type it – it is overwhelming with all the things you have to teach your kids…the basics and the things you never realized (i.e: throwing up properly). It gets to a point you just have to pick ONE item a day to work on. Yes, you do a ton of these all day long but I talking – really concentrating on one thing a day.  So today it will be FETCHING/PICKING UP. This will be for toys, shoes, clothing, food, but mainly COFFEE today because the puking properly soooo failed last night…..

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Loving the people around me.

I was home alone this weekend. When I say alone – meaning without my hubby.

First person I love – my dear sitter “SP”. Thank you for always coming even though you know what you’re getting into. Thank you for always pretending my kids are okay. 🙂

Second – my oldest child. He is on occasion starting to show that he can be a great pal. IT is super to me that he is turning into a great person to talk to and have around. (YES he still makes me nuts at times and yes he is still rotten to siblings. & Yes I always love him, but sometimes kids can be hard to be around no joke (hang with one that has been up to late and to earlier to rise  – you’ll see) but last night I had a really nice time talking to him. Actually talking. Example of how nice he can be : For a few weeks now he has been complaining about putting on his soccer shoes, I thought it was just being SLOW and not wanting to get ready…yesterday on the way to soccer I asked him to do the shoe thing he said “I can not NOT put these on” – so finally I say hand them to me – yep! mom of the year – size 3.5 when he is now wearing a 5. duh me. so we had fun getting new shoes. And he really has not complained at me, or tell me I suck as a mom.

Third – I love my friend “Mama P” – she came over had a beer with me talked girl talk with me, talked life, talked the loss of our mothers (both this year)…etc…AND weeded with me, a ton of weeding. YES, this is a good friend. LOVE her.

Fourth –  my good neighbors – they laugh at me when I get caught doing something I shouldn’t. They laugh with me as I tell my life stories. Laugh when I look like poo. Laugh at the house and it’s “lived” in look. AND they venture out, even among my kids to sit and chat with me,  THEN even after all that – they go and volunteer to bring lunch to all my family! PLUS say they would love to bring my kids (YES MY KIDS) to their house so I can shower for a bit? seriously???? RIGHT ON right?

Plus I  have another neighbor who takes THE best photos. And because of her, I get to see my kids through a new light/lens and see their beauty. Plus they listen to her. Truly. She can get them to jump, sit, smile stand…still. It is amazing. She also tells them to say things like  “my dad farts” instead of cheese. This is right up our alley.

Fifth –  all my other girlfriends. You know the ones – the ones that can get a girl out and enjoy the fact we can go out to drink, dinner, sit or go to the Sundance movie theater so we can drink & eat before, & after & DURING the movie. They know that it is okay to be silly. They know we need to not just be wives, we need to be silly girls 🙂

Lastly –  I love that my friend/hubby/pal/roomie/co parent will be home soon. And he too is someone I love to have around me.

Happy Sunday to all ! 🙂

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Laundry List of to do’s

Okay here are just a few of  the things I will and won’t do today…

Work out – this will enter my mind at least 14.3 x’s today – But I am guessing after buying a white chocolate mocha (iced) this will not happen. I totally blame my child for this – he ASKED for a chocolate milk after preschool drop off…what was I to do?

Laundry – this will be something I do today/everyday – but today… probably won’t finish because, I will get side tracked with thinking about not doing exercise, and decide to pluck my eyebrows,  research others blogs, someone will cry, wash my bike (that I don’t own)… you know any excuse. PLUS last night, I pulled T’s soccer shorts from the dryer and they were damp (slightly more than damp). He went to soccer but before he left “BEST shorts Ever mom – in 80 degrees, they are damp and cool!” so – hence, why finish this load either? It is going to be 80 again. I figure that if my kids smell like mildew – well? They will just have to stick together since no one else will play with them.

Talk to the people I should and firm up dates – ie: dentist for my rotting teeth, summer plans etc…well this will not happen because a) it is nice out. And b) when I open my calendar on my computer – I will no doubt end up looking up things that matter like how to get firm without exercise, how to redecorate my house for 8 dollars…you know the important things at the moment.

Make a list for dinners this week – this won’t happen because well…just don’t feel like it…and if it does it will be a list of the healthiest food ever and of course I am  already drinking a mocha…so I have blown the healthy aspect today. I should just start again tomorrow.

SO…now that I have shared a small portion of my NOT do’s off my list…and proscranited by writing this blog…what I will do is tell you –

THAT my BIRTHDAY is in 76 days and I will be 40. (July 27th)

Why is this great? Well, let me tell you –  anyone that knew/knows me knows that my past was no indication of where I would be today. (Other then my great parents who did not sell me, but I am sure tried to). They also know that I think birthday are the BEES kNeEs. That I ALWAYS do a count down and I am behind this year.  That I thought 2010 would be the year of Jennot so much. (but 2011 has promise.)  I think that 40 is going to be the new 20 for me. The confidence, the ME in ME, the fitness (heck Oprah did not start working out til ? 50, so she said or was it 40? – (and yes I know what she looks like today) but still give me a chance to start.

WhEw the way I see it – telling you my birthday was a HUGE check off the ol’ list today! Enjoy your day…and PLEASE tell me you’re doing something unhealthy too 🙂

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1st mothers day – motherless?

So I sit this morning thinking…I thought…well. what does one do for Mother’s day?  I am a mother. but I can not celebrate me unless I reflect – on what kind of mother I had…

She (mom, nonny) was – always excited to be excited about looking forward to something…she was always excited to see what the future hold even if ill.

look- and you know she is saying at what???

She was – always willing to try new things. And she always had the best accessories…

about to go zip lining

accessories...not just jewels

she always taught me how to keep marching forward…and always brush your hair…

shaggy and I

she would always get to your level and play…

 making even a cut out look good

on the beach no doubt hearing good stories

she was always someone you wanted to sit next to. someone you wanted to share things with…someone that taught you what a true friend was.

just us

The type of Nonny that bought the BEST toys. The ones that you Had to HAVE…even if they scared the bejesus out of your siblings…

The type of mom that LOVED white pants (and those who know her or ever saw her – she had zillions of them). She loved the 4th of July. She was a terror with a roman candle but unlike the rest of us never got hurt.

Indian Lake

In the end…she was someone who meant the world to us. Someone that raised her to kids to adore her and each other. Someone that was always there. Someone that gave you love even if you were not looking.

showing love

Someone that loved her grandkids (and at times understood them better than their parents). Someone whose smile stuck with you – whose hug kept you warm – whose laughter made you laugh. Someone that when you felt like dancing and no one else would – she would. My reflections are all so positive. I have no complaints. I really think that any woman like her – the type that rolls with the punches, the one that can make you so mad you hang up only to have her call you back and say – whatever, I love you. The type that makes you warm to this moment thinking of her…is amazing. Mom – you are missed, always treasured…and a hard act to follow…

HAPPY MOTHER’S day…and thanks for listening to my rant.

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Give me an hour…

JUST ONE HOUR…

with kids/without kids? kids on their own? me with just adults…You guess what is what (or which is which)?

make it through 1 store.

make it through several stores and cause a whole different kind of “damage”.

Unroll a roll of toilet paper.

Break the dishwasher.

Fill up the sink and wash all things that are not waterproof.

Apply makeup.

Realize you need to apply makeup.

destroy the only  thing left in your house that is breakable.

Put a whole in the wall.

Play drums.

Download stuff.

Online shop. (This one is not what you think)

Cry and fight.

Do laundry and put it away.

Make a pile of laundry.

Paint.

Reflect.

Miss someone.

Drink Coffee / Tea/ Milk.

Work out.

Come up with a reason not to work out.

Brush hair/cut nails.

Bathe/Shower/Clean bodies.

Realize I miss blogging.

Plan/Daydream.

Pack.

Unpack.

Paint nails.

Clean out a closet.

read a book.

Play angry birds.

Play cars, dress up

LIVE in the MOMENT.

I am going to be back…in an hour

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My A.M so far…

I woke up last night (This is a real rant post, be prepared)….

at 3:30 dreaming about my mom – it was not a good one…I COULD not go back to sleep…and never did.

Then got up….this morning soooo tired. I usually put the kids clothes out for the morning the night before. I did not. Nor did I do laundry over the weekend. I was thinking…nah, it is so nice out. We are having a great weekend…I can not do it for a weekend…well, it backfired. This morning I had to pick and pick to find clothes. Match socks (the sock pile in this house could be the worst enemy I have ever had) etc…do the dishwasher (load and unload), make lunches, get all dressed… pour cereal… I KNOW that these things are things we all do daily…but when tired this was a BURDEN this morning. THEN….

after all were dressed. We discover the fridge in the garage that hosted much of my groceries for dinners (meats etc) that I just bought was left open all night/ yesterday evening  from kids getting waters/juices…so EVERYTHING was HOT….not just warm. We already had cereal poured and had gone out there for milk….which as you can guess by now…Was not going to happen. Plan B for breakfast. SO, I proceeded to throw out everything in that fridge – including chicken, ground beef, milk, eggs (3 dozen!) and a zillion other things…so sad.

Come in….and my oldest can not find his shoes. Nor can we – ANYWHERE. Yes, it is gym day…Yes of course that would be the Tennis shoes we are looking for….so then the bus goes by….greeeat. As we are looking for the shoes we discover a POOP mess in our downstairs bathroom. Talk about a nice surprise. ewwww. we had a ton of kids over and who knows…who we kidding…I know it was one of my little humans. So gross. I sure did not know this part of the job when I signed up… I know I have to deal with this later. and will.

I get all into the car, have to take my oldest to school since he missed the bus…he is in shoes that are two small…but? Lecture the little people about when we ask you to pick stuff up and put it where it belongs, well we mean it.

Get him to school. Drop of the other kids, and they are now late. Realize they do not have full backpacks – pray for no potty accidents. You know it will only happen since I have no extra stuff with them today. This is where I  REALIZE I forgot their lunches….

Okay that is now taken care of (home and back).

go to switch my wash/ Clean up the bathroom…(have already been to the grocery store to replace things and get safe milk – after school lunch drop off)…come upstairs and my youngest has gone to the fridge…drank/dropped the whole bottle of French Vanilla creamer for my coffee(NEW BOTTLE, Opened 8.4 minutes ago and put back into the fridge…not a big deal other than it is on the COUCH!!!!!)

Anyone else having a great morning? PLEASE share good vibes with me….UGH!

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Nature walk…maybe to much nature

Okay. Last weekend my crew went for a walk. A nature walk.

Let me tell you about how we roll….

everyone needs a dad and a stick.

we find every puddle.

we find every stick.

we find cool pieces of ice.

we can fight even in nature.

did I mention we can find mud?

we might cry…and if we are lucky this is what we see (no photos – due to graphic)

Big chunk of Lake Ice

we were sooo lucky (EWWW) to see.

look we can be friends...for a minute

a dirty muskrat – not gross just dirty. A frog  (YEAH)  other than it had been run over by a bike that had all of its guts hanging out it’s mouth…and was “limping” to the other side of the path…my kids were convinced it just had worms in it’s mouth…grrrrrreat.

Then lucky us we saw a Bald Eagle. And up close. NEAT…until you watched it pulling and tugging it’s lunch apart. Yes, yes, nature but to little ones some what disturbing. 🙂 okay really disturbing.

We did see geese and ducks. And I am pretty sure it was a squirrel that had been ripped to shreds…all and all a SAweet walk.

sisters...always stuck like glue

Yep. That is how we roll…we just like to show the kids what the real horrors are in the world up front and early 🙂

Big man H

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