MOM

MY MOM, MY RECAP (albeit brief- it is a subject I could go on and on about…)

Okay, I was in the shower and it dawned on me…my cousin mentioned to me that she had dropped the ball on life after a family tragedy. I have done the same. That is why this blog may help me find my sanity back…Bare with me while I get this part off my chest.

My mom was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins right after my family took the trip of a lifetime. We were all together (@21 of us, some pregnant) in the Cayman Islands and had a super super week. Only to come home to find this out. Over the course of her fight (@20 months) she was constantly given bad news. She never lessen the fight or did not put a smile on. Then this October mid month – after a summer well spent with us close by and as a family (a rough one for her at times due to the disease) and after a summer party of all parties, she was given good/great hopeful news. October marked her 60th birthday.  We went to dinner, smiled and looked forward. She died November 9th.

Let me tell you about her. She was my world (as she was to many). She was a core to a family, she was a great Nonny, she was a friend, a mentor, a secret keeper, a best friend…a mother. She always defended us, and always stuck up and with us.

Many will tell you about how she had the whitest teeth, the most vibrate blue eyes…those are all true. They will tell you she called people kiddo and made you feel special – also true.

What most won’t mention is the hole she has left behind.

I was blessed to have a mother that put her children first.  A mother at times that I believe liked my kids more than I on hard days. One that always gave good advice. One example was on my wedding…”remember, in life you have to love the person everyday…but you do not have to like them everyday.” Think about it, I love my kids and would do anything for them (and spouse) but some days they can push the limit of  like.  Those are the things that I am trying to take with me as I move forward. The attitude. The values she had.

I long to hear her laugh, I long to see her smile. It will happen. I have faith. (Don’t get me wrong, there is some hard questioning what my faith is…but it is faith)

She was clumsy, funny, silly, witty,  one you never left alone in the kitchen, one you did not let “clean” your house since she threw out stuff, she deemed unnecessary. One that could get you to laugh so hard you asked for the bathroom. One that could use her sharp tongue for good (or bad depending which side you were on), one that had great taste, one that always matched, one that had great jewels, one that NEVER failed to let her husband or kids know that through ups and downs she loved them unconditionally, and forever. We are lucky.

I have learned who my friends are. I have learned who my mom’s friends were. I have learned about her relationships. I now have to go forward and this blog will help me. I know it. I also know that I am supported. She loved many and deeply. One thing I can say: there is nothing better when we see one shed a tear for her. A person you did not expect – that makes you stop and remember she was real and she made a difference to those around her.

Take a moment to remember my mom – and thank her as I do…for those she left me surrounded by. And for those who struggle with me daily, Dan, Jamie (and others) may we remember all those things that made her “ours”.

(I have others to help to: Laurie, Chris, Pjay, Michelle, Holly – and even more family members) Love to them all.

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3 Responses to MOM

  1. Kevin says:

    I certainly do not want to be the first one to post on this blog so I hope you are able to move the order around. I do not deserve a high comment position for a lady I knew far too briefly.
    Your mom did not need to be known “long” in order for the adoration to set in. She was so funny and tough and smart. She could size up people instantly. She could make D laugh so hard he would cry – and then head for the bathroom as you aptly described. Sometimes I would just stare at her and would realize that she “gets it.” I admired her greatly. She understood life and death and spirituality – but most of all, she understood and cherished her family. That was her favorite topic – that and D’s failed attempts to secure a proper house “keeper” over the years.
    When I saw the writer of this blog for the first time a few days ago, I was taken aback by the resemblance. You have your mom’s look and presence and smile. At first, I could not contain my emotions, and it is good to now know that others’ tears provide you with comfort. But seeing you also gave me comfort because I could clearly see your mom in you. For that, I say thanks. I miss your mom a lot. She was more than special; she was a gift from God.

  2. Jim Wilson says:

    What a beautiful writing Jen! Only knowing Katie for 8 years, I felt I knew her all of my life. We truly became dear, dear friends. Friends of not only Katie but of her wonderful family, who she and Dan introduced us to. She always made me smile, usually the minute she walked into the room. She loved excitement and I loved doing my best to provide one or two moments of memory. We look forward to our continued friendship with Dan, Jen and Joe, Jamie and Heather and the gang, and to the great times ahead of all of us. Not to be cantankerous but I feel part of the family and hope to continue to watch the kids grow. Katie and Dan have given Doris and I so many once in a lifetime experiences that we would never have been able to enjoy. We will see you when we see you in Door County this summer. You know the rules: if the light is on, the lighter is nearby.

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