the TIES that bind

holidays!

holidays!

I came from a family that was BOUND. I mean  – my mother was always involved when it came to holidays, birthdays, vacations, events. There was no if’s and’s or buts about it. (I said butts 🙂 ) she would ask you (tell YOU, all the while pretending to ask you) what the holiday plans were. What vacation plans were. THEY were always super. Don’t get read me wrong. There was a time you would hum and haw over them, be mad that my birthday was spent on a boat, be  mad to have to bend and drive to her… but now today I would do anything to have people want to spend that time with me (to have another holiday with her). I would and look forward to those events. And all events these days.

Indian Lake

Indian Lake

trio

trio trouble

So what is it that binds us ? Is it being married? Is it that you were born in a threesome? Is it a club? Is it a life long friend? A new one? Wearing the same shoes? (especially if we have the same size and we can share 😉 )

Even with the loss of my mom I find there are times I mourn her and think…what is it, what is it today that I am mourning…not always what I think.  What I have concluded is – it is the loss of a bind.cousins I have many great great binds in my life. But, she was consistent on her tie to us. She always asked what we did on the weekend, how we are, what are plans were, told you she was proud…and she was the one that was STEADfast about being with us. Making us realize we were bound together and it mattered. It really mattered to her. She was the one that made sure we knew one another – we knew our cousins, we knew her friends, we knew her. She always made sure we knew we counted. I like to think that is what she gave us. A warm feeling and bonding. I talk to my brother three times a day. Why? ( I have a lot to say? or I am …weird…) OR well, we are bonded. My mom wanted that. Gave us each other and that. She wanted that to continue…

in tribute to...

in tribute to…

I have been thinking lately – how she was so warm and made even the most hermit of people feel like getting out – because she would ask about you. Much like my spirit post…she made you belong – or want to…

your own

your own ties…

I think that it is a matter of heart and mind. It is friendship. It is feeling seen. It feeling like your wanted. You matter. NO matter the distance. Or the relationship.

I have decided that I am lucky. I have that feeling about so many people in my life. I love them. Yes, sometimes I want to choke them, snuff them out – make them go away. But, I truly know what it is like to miss that bind. That tie. And I would never want to feel it more than I have to. So know, think and bond. Know this, I do care, hear, see each of you that I communicate with. I do. You matter, and we are bound. No matter how odd that sounds. Even if my binding is suffocating. I mean well.

are we far or near? (the bean)

are we far or near? (the bean)

I feel that we should let others feel the same. Not just because it is the season or your having a good time…just do it because…it matters…

these ties that bind us.

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About snotarant

i am a janitor, maid, haus frau, mother to a five pack, a listener, a hugger, a sigher, a happier, a wine lover, a foodie, a hunter, a gatherer, a cook, a wife, a mother, a triplet mom, pedicure lover, a hugger, a crier, and sometimes just me... AND beware. I write like I talk...a little - well un-correct.
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