One can…I can…People Can
buy a new property
Get a new car (s)
Get a child to sleep in a big bed
Potty train
Read a thousand papers
Feel so lonely it hurts
Talk out loud more times then you can admit
Have a zillion colds go through your house
Enjoy your friends fully
Feel left out
Have at least six events of your kids throwing up
Do a million loads of wash
Get a new couch
Start & Stop a diet
Love your sitters more & more
Wonder why your pants are too tight then too loose ( still hoping for the latter)
Love your family
Despise your family
Feel lonely
Feel loved
Out grow shoes
Feel Crowded
Worry about your kids nonstop
Wonder why your kids can make you so crazy
Miss your family, kids included
Meet a stranger on a plane that encourages you to write

Find a friend among your past, someone who you once knew, (it maybe someone who you did not know well back then) & wonder why you have not known them all along without interruption or had you made an effort years earlier, would you be better friends even more so now?

Find out who your true friends are and if they show for the important times, needs, or just even call you to let you know you exist

Experience something that is so heart wrenching that you think that you can’t make it another day.

Have a vacation of a lifetime

Get a hug each day

Realize you would love to write a book
You feel like you need to be doing something new
Donate money to several causes in a manner like never before
Go to an event that blows your mind
Want to do more with your life, make a difference, be someone
Shed more tears for a single person then you knew you had
Have an annual party and smile about it just like you did a year ago

you can remember the same someone every single day, multiple times

And sometimes sob about it, sometimes tear up and sometimes LAUGH 

ONE YEAR AGO…Nov. 9th, 2011
my mom passed away
…and each day seems to take a lifetime to get through without her

Each day I can feel the deep love for my kids (husband), and at times a crippling distance from those same people, because I miss her so much. Not in a depression way (see above, I smile too) I have great moments each day, week, etc…I could even say – SUPER moments. I have had some incredibly super things happen this year, some EYE opening things happen, some great conversations this year. I have also experienced a loss like never ever before. True HOLE in the heart hurting type of loss.

I miss her more & more.  I constantly wonder what we are missing out on with her not being here.

Even with the down part of this year. And it has been a downer, I  have learned a lot of things with in this year. Some good. Some bad. Some hard. Some lonely. Some with tears. Some with hard laughs. Some with hangovers. Some just lessons.

THIS year, I learned family can choose to come together…that everyone needs a break, that everyone needs a good time, looking forward to things is okay, that a brother can be a close friend, that someone you once fought can be your best friend, that instead of  always feeling like I am missing things, or should have done other things or want certain things that I should fully take part in what I have or at least the moments, times, emails, texts, things, I do have. It is okay to want more, to be more, to experience more, but don’t spread yourself so thin you forget what and who you are. Do not forget what you are good at, really good at – it most likely is being you. Even when you feel like the You that you know is gone, lost or heartbroken.  That the people in your family that come through for you – should be remembered, they too are REAL. (Velveteen Rabbit). You should recognize friends new & old, especially the ones that make you feel good that you are you and that always have the moments to pay it forward. 

Start today…pay for the coffee for the person behind you. Smile and carry someone’s bag, put away someone’s grocery cart…or simply call someone. 

One year ago, I lost my VERY BEST friend…but she would be proud of what I have learned all within a year, all the while still knowing, that she is missed. I can’t say “I miss you more than you know” anymore…she knows. I learned THAT in my heart within this year. She knows.

Katie Doerr
Nov. 9, 2011
Always, your daughter.

About snotarant

i am a janitor, maid, haus frau, mother to a five pack, a listener, a hugger, a sigher, a happier, a wine lover, a foodie, a hunter, a gatherer, a cook, a wife, a mother, a triplet mom, pedicure lover, a hugger, a crier, and sometimes just me... AND beware. I write like I talk...a little - well un-correct.
This entry was posted in Fresh Starts, kids, observations and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to IN A YEAR-

  1. Jim Wilson says:

    This was absolutely beautiful and from one beautiful person. Thanks for the memories, the love and the friendship. You and your family are very dear to Doris and I. I look forward to sharing our summer with you and the gang.
    Jim and Doris

  2. Amy Tadych says:

    Your words have stirred a lot of emotions in me, especially today. You are one very special young lady Jenifer. I miss your mom’s friendship so very much. Her absence is our lives continues for feel surreal and definitely a little less “sunny”. Hugs to you on this day of remembering.

    • Amy Tadych says:

      Gosh…sorry for the typo errors. Should have said………….Her absence in our lives continues to feel surreal and definitely a little less “sunny”.

  3. Jenny Oppriecht says:

    Beautiful. Holding you and yours in light and love today.

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