Today this I know…

I turned 40 this summer. It was not as life changing as I thought. I did not wake up and look like a celebrity. But I did have a good time. And I still love Birthdays! And will always make a point to let people know…self promotion I can do!

I know that trying to blog and living away all summer with no internet – basically does not make for a great blogger, friend or person that follows through on stuff…(even though there are were a Zillion things worth mentioning) This is also true on having 7 birthdays all in October and a party we have thrown for 20years –  that can’t go on without planning.

I know that when you age party planning is totally different – sort of. Meaning that you still purchase stupid things to have fun with but you planned for them and ordered them ahead of time. You did not wait until the 11th hour to see where beer can be bought. I know that you worry more that people will have fun. But in the end you drink just as much.

I know... that this is a rough week for people I know due to loss and birthdays.

…that I love food. I know that is a bummer at times.

…that I love my family. That is not a bummer. (Even if  I yell and want to pull out my hair at times, I love them)

…that watching the Honey Badger makes me giggle still.

…that I get excited to drink sweet nines at Eno Vino.

… that I love to giggle.

…that I think that I can dance.

…that buying matching shoes with a friend makes me smile.

…that Friendship is hard to find. Especially as you age and I am truly lucky.

…that I have okay taste.  Wait, I think, I do.

I know that taking down my last crib was sadder then I thought – THEN I snapped out of it.

…that I love having the windows open.

I know I still pick at everything. my poor kids

…that I miss my mother so much my skin hurts. I know that Thursday is her birthday – She would be 61. I know that she was such a super person, she deserved to be here. I know that I will tell people I am glad she is not hurting this year. I know I don’t mean it in that I wish she was still here. I know that she is with me and at times probably disappointed. I miss her so much sometimes I check out. I know that other times she is happy – especially when I giggle and can check. So I hope that she smiles more then not. I know that she is with me in odd times and places. I know that she was glad we (my family) spent so much time together this summer. And that it is clear we are here for one another. always.


About snotarant

i am a janitor, maid, haus frau, mother to a five pack, a listener, a hugger, a sigher, a happier, a wine lover, a foodie, a hunter, a gatherer, a cook, a wife, a mother, a triplet mom, pedicure lover, a hugger, a crier, and sometimes just me... AND beware. I write like I talk...a little - well un-correct.
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2 Responses to Today this I know…

  1. beth says:

    ah jen….i love this post !
    and i know that i’m lucky to have you as a neighbor !!!

  2. Dana B. says:

    What a sweet post, Jen! Made me almost cry!

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