Can I have this? Is this mine? Can I have it all to my own self?
These are questions I hear all day, every day.
I am amazed that we can have a zillion toys but they all want what each other has. Even if they all have the same toy – they will fight over one person’s in particular. It is a constant NO win situation. Keep in mind that NOTHING of mine is sacred. Mom’s stuff is constantly being touched, played with or just plain destroyed…So it should be me asking – Can I have this? Is this just mine? It should be me crying over items that are so small that the people bring me wine to cheer me up, my very own, just mine – wine. (okay, just a small hint)
So here is my dilemma, with this amount of little children, at about the same age..is it an automatic that you will develop a hoarder in the crowd. Or is that just my house?
I have a daughter that will literally pack up anything that she gets her hands on and hide stuff in bags, and bags. Once she is “packed” she will either carry the items (bags, dolls, strollers, what ever around with her. OR she will tuck things into her bed, all day. These tactics help her maintain her “stuff” and no one else can get to it. She sneaks up during the day to “place” “her” stuff in there, neatly way under covers, where no one can see it (ignoring the fact that she has GIANT lumps)…AND always leaving someone behind saying, I just had a …? where did it go? I am constantly telling her that half the stuff she collects is not hers. It is a shared item, it is mine, the dogs or GASP an older SIBLING. (This particular sibling will never be as pleasant as the others, and will haul off and clobber her if he catches her, which I try to forewarn her).
Some day in therapy she will most likely complain that we never gave in and got her a bigger bed to fit her most prized possessions. We were just so mean to her and made her sleep with her treasures in a twin! Or she will order some self designed bed…a huge one with secret compartments. Either way, in therapy I will just sit and nod.
At night she has so much stuff in her bed that some of the toys will make noise and wake her, or she just simply can not turn over. I have tried to put baskets next to her bed, and they do get filled up and at the same time the bed is still over stuffed.
Over the weekend, I went into the in the girls room. I decided to go through the basket. GOOD gravy – I have never seen so many items. So, I talked to her, and talked to her. Then decided to go through the stuff and put it all back (with her help).
A few of the items that I found were: Two of my shoes (two different ones) a doggy, a doll, four blocks a christmas decoration, broken headbands, nail polish, dog collar (which we have searched for – FOREVER), gum (I think? icky, sticky, gross, yes, we are going to go with gum, it was in a plastic bag), drum sticks, and candy…
When we got done, she said it was she was happy to put things back and then, THEN – this is what she said:
Did you just want me to put my stuff back so we can share other items? I know you have more fun stuff you would like to share, right?
So years from now when you see her on that TV show, think to yourself, she used to be that sweet-faced girl, with a scream that could pierce your eardrums, and a real eye for JUNK and her mother loved sharing every item with her, whether I knew it or not.